Toxic Masculinity Is a Deep Sort of Loneliness: A Conversation with Ben Purkert

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August 26, 2023 • By Katya Apekina

The Men Can't Be Saved

Ben Purkert

Katya Apekina

LARB CONTRIBUTOR

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KATYA APEKINA: I know that you worked in advertising. How did that world inspire your book? BEN PURKERT: Did you come up with any good taglines? It’s almost as good as the slogan Seth comes up with that goes viral for men’s adult diapers: “Everyday Briefs for the Everyday Hero.” It’s like remasculinizing the emasculated.[At this point in the interview, the bench we were sitting on was overtaken and surrounded by children, so we pivoted.]Have you ever gone viral? It seems to do a number on Seth.I guess something happens to work when you’re overly aware that there is an audience.So, you studied poetry and then you were doing copywriting. I never thought of the connection between the two, but I guess copywriting is just taking poetry and applying it to capitalism? How did you approach writing a novel as a poet? This book is so well plotted and propulsive. I love your two epigraphs. One from Ogilvy about advertising and the other from Vivian Gornick: “He was a man … he heard the sound of no voice but his own.”Was it something that you were aware of in yourself, as a man? Throughout the book, Seth is trying to find himself through his work, through Judaism, and, disastrously, through love. He’s searching for himself but coming up short. Is that lack of self-knowledge connected to the idea of toxic masculinity?So, I guess I want to ask you the question of the title! Can men be saved?That’s such a good way to put it. I think with all really funny books there is a profound sadness underneath.Katya Apekina is a novelist, screenwriter, and translator. Her novel Mother Doll is out March 2024. Her debut novel, The Deeper the Water the Uglier the Fish, was named a Best Book of 2018 by Kirkus, Buzzfeed, Literary Hub, and others, and was a finalist for the Los Angeles Times Book Prize. She lives in Los Angeles.